


Fanboy

by Cherry



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eren has a crush, Fanboy Eren, Fanboy Erwin, M/M, No Name AU, Rockstar!Levi, Teacher!Erwin, Unrequited Eren/Levi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2018-06-06 08:15:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6746305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry/pseuds/Cherry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Divorced History teacher Erwin Smith is happy enough living a peaceful life with his teenaged son Armin, although Armin, and his best friend Eren, will insist on playing that loud music by that No Name band... Erwin's never really understood why kids these days insist on idolizing singers and the like, although there is something about the mysterious singer from the band that draws Erwin's attention. Yes - there's definitely something about him...</p><p>Smut and fluff. Erwin is a helpless fanboy.</p><p>Eruri with a side of Eremin. Eren has a crush on Levi, but he'll get over it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fanboy

**Author's Note:**

> I am working on the other stories too. I am. But I started this one, before my computer died, after the No Name song was released. I can't get the idea of rockstar Levi and fanboy Erwin out of my head. Erwin would be such a devoted fan! And we all need some smut-laced fluff at the moment, don't we?

“Yeah, so Eren said did I want to go see this band tomorrow night?”

“Hmm?” Erwin was focussing on the busy evening traffic and trying not to think too hard about what the latest round of budget cuts would mean for the department. Armin folded his arms tight across his chest. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll ask you again when we get home.”

Something in the gesture and in his son’s resigned tone reminded Erwin of Marie. “I’m sorry, Armin – I was miles away. Say it again?”

“Not now. I know it’s hard for old people to concentrate on more than one thing at a time.”

“Hey - I’m not that old!” Erwin replied automatically, although, in truth, he was starting to feel it. Stopping at a red traffic light, he turned to look at his almost grownup son, wondering, as he did more and more often these days, where the years had gone to. “Tell me now?”

For a moment Armin looked as though he would choose to sulk about Erwin’s inattention, but his hormonal bouts of real anger were mercifully a good year behind him now, and he relented with only an exaggerated eye-roll. “Eren asked me if I wanted to go to this thing tomorrow. There’s a band he’s really into and Mikasa got us all tickets somehow.”

“It’s a school night…”

“Yeah, but it’s only at the stadium. I’d be home before midnight. They got signed a couple months ago – it might be the last time to catch them before they get really famous. Eren thinks they’re going to be huge.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. That’s why I want to see them. I don’t really know what they’re like – it’s Eren who rates them. Mikasa says they’re ‘gimmicky’, but she got us the tickets, so I guess she doesn’t mind them too much.”

Erwin pretended to consider, actually pleased that Armin wanted to do something so normal for a boy of his age. He worried that his son was too serious, too studious. Eren and his foster sister Mikasa were his only close friends, and had been all the way through school. Without Eren, Erwin often thought that Armin might have grown up much too similar to himself – too smart for his own good sometimes, awkward around his peers.

“Okay, you can go. No drinking though. Or smoking – tobacco or anything else.”

Armin sighed. “You know I don’t do any of that.”

“And is it just the three of you going? You, Eren, and Mikasa?”

“I think Marco and Jean from Eren’s class were talking about going. Sasha, maybe. I’m not sure.”

“Sasha?”

“Yeah. I’ve told you about her before. She and Connie have an on/off thing.”

“I see.” Erwin made himself stop at that, but his silence was as obvious as the question would have been. Armin sighed heavily. “Oh my god, Dad!”

Erwin raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t say a word.”

Armin snorted, waiting for the inevitable –

“But if there was anything you wanted to ask me, or tell me – anything at all – you know you can always -”

“Yeah. I know. Shut up and drive, old man. That light’s been green for, like, half an hour!”

Erwin didn’t register the band’s existence again until a few months later at the end of the summer holidays, when Armin was back from visiting his mother in Australia, and Eren was staying over. Erwin almost tripped over a sports bag left in the middle of the lounge doorway, and noticed the design on it – a pair of capital Ns, back to back, surrounded by a pair of wings and a crown, ‘No Name’ written underneath.

“Armin,” he grunted, a little alarmed at the twinge in his back caused by bending down to pick up the bag, “would you please refrain from leaving your things in –”

“Not mine – Eren’s,” Armin replied from his seat on the couch, his eyes never leaving the TV screen and the game he was playing. Eren jumped to his feet and took the offending bag. “Sorry Mr. Smith.” He looked down at the bag, then up at Erwin, his green eyes shining. “It’s cool, though, isn’t it? I only got it on Saturday. Do you like No Name, Mr. Smith?”

“Who?”

“No Name! You must’ve heard of them!”

“I don’t think so… Or, was that the band you took Armin to see a while back?”

“Yeah – but they’re so much bigger now!” He turned a rather reproachful gaze on Armin. “You didn’t _tell_ him about them?”

“Of course I did,” Armin replied wearily, still not looking away from his game. “He doesn’t listen – always got his mind on work. Anyway, you’re the real fan.”

“But you like them too, right?”

“Yeah, they’re good. I’m just not obsessed like you.”

“I not obsessed – they’re just the best… Look – let’s show him. Have you saved?”

“Not now, Eren. I’ll show him later. If this chest has enough gold in it I can buy an amulet of deliverance and I have a theory that we can use that to –”

“Oh – okay. But, look…” Eren turned to Erwin and held out a phone. Erwin took it, peering at the screen, wondering if he needed reading glasses. He made out three figures of varying heights, all dressed in black suits, with bandages wrapped around their eyes.

“Very nice,” he said, since Eren seemed to be waiting for a response. “Are they supposed to be ancient Egyptian mummies or something? Zombies?” He had a feeling he could guess the kind of music they would make – the kind Armin had started playing in the car a year or two ago, until Erwin had insisted on him listening through headphones because the wall of searing instrumental sound, combined with the weird growling scream of the vocals, had been distracting enough to put Erwin in serious danger of causing an accident.

Eren was a polite boy by nature, but he couldn’t quite conceal a familiar look of teenaged pitying contempt at Erwin’s incomprehensible ignorance. “No,” he explained with infinite patience, “they’re just incognito. No one knows who they really are. The paparazzi are desperate to find out, but so far they have no clue.”

For some reason, Armin looked around at that, appearing somewhat startled. Eren met his gaze and something passed between them that Erwin knew meant they had a secret. Knowing better than to enquire, he passed the phone back to Eren. “Well, they look very presentable,” he said, exaggerating his old man persona for the boys’ sakes so that they could laugh at him later. “I like the suits. They’d make good school uniforms, wouldn’t they?”

Eren shook his head sadly. Erwin smiled. “Well, I’ll leave you two to your _Tomb… Dragon… World of Dungeon_ – whatever that is. Please give my regards to your parents, Eren.” He closed the door quietly on Armin’s disbelieving, “ _World of Dungeon?”_ and Eren’s, “How do you do that anyway? How do you _give_ regards? Like, _here’s some regards from Armin’s dad, don’t use them all at once_ …”

 

Erwin normally kept out of Armin’s room unless he was invited in. Armin seemed to have been born tidy – a trait he must have inherited from his mother – and Erwin respected his son’s privacy, as well as having no time to go snooping even if he’d wanted to. But Armin had rushed out straight after dinner, saying something about needing to finish a homework project with Eren, and Erwin had just unloaded the tumble dryer. He folded everything that didn’t absolutely need ironing, went upstairs with a small pile of Armin’s t-shirts and put them into the appropriate drawer in the wardrobe, shaking his head in awe at the almost obsessively neat arrangement of clothes inside it. He closed the wardrobe, turned to leave the room, and found his gaze drawn to a new poster on the wall beside Armin’s bed.

Erwin recognized the band – it was the one Eren had shown him on his phone back in the summer – _No Name_. He could see the individual band members much more clearly now – a huge-looking, shaggy-haired drummer with impressive biceps bulging under the sleeves of his suit jacket, a guitarist of indeterminate gender grinning wildly below the bandages that concealed their eyes, and a smaller, dark-haired singer, leaning forward with his foot up on an amp, looking down into the camera, something faintly contemptuous in the downturned curve of his pretty mouth. Erwin felt a surprising jolt of desire. He took a step closer to the wall. The singer was a young man, he thought, but definitely a man, not a boy. His jaw was sharp and lacked any boyish roundness. Peering closer, Erwin could make out a barely perceptible shadow of soon-to-be stubble beneath the surface of his skin. His eyes were completely hidden by the bandages, but the symmetry of the rest of his face, and the beauty of his mouth, suggested that he would be uncommonly good-looking.

It had been a very long time since Erwin had felt so immediately aroused. A part of him remained detached enough to feel a kind of appalled amusement at his sudden sexual interest in a singer in the kind of band his fifteen-year-old son admired, but his more basic side was only interested in what he could see of the man on the poster – the energy and tension in his small, compact body – the confidence, bordering on arrogance, in the turn of his head and graceful neck – the apparent strength in the hands that gripped the mike and mike-stand so firmly, which led, inevitably, to obvious analogies… Erwin’s eyes strayed lower. The black suit was well cut and not loose, but the way the singer had his left knee raised to place his foot on the amp meant that there was no view of his crotch. Still, the firm-looking curve of his ass was enticing, and there was something exciting in his pose – the way he dominated the picture, looking down into the camera with that feeling of cool contempt conveyed by his posture and his expressive mouth.

Erwin found himself wondering about the colour and shape of the singer’s eyes – the set of his cheekbones - how he sounded… Well, there was something he could do about the last one. He felt a little foolish, but that didn’t stop him going down to his ‘study’ – a pull-out desk in the corner of the dining room – opening his laptop and googling _No Name front man._ He hadn’t been prepared for the sheer amount of information available. No Name, it seemed, had a huge and international following.

 _In spite of endless attempts to discover their identities, the three members of the band have so far managed to remain incognito_ , one site informed him _. They are currently only known by the initials A, Z and Z, leading some fans to nickname them A2Z, some Azz, and others Zaz._

Below this informative comment was a gif of a back view of the band performing, with the caption _Nice Azz!_ Erwin, staring at the singer’s shapely backside, was forced to agree. Within a few minutes he had discovered that the singer was A, that fans estimated his age anywhere between twenty and thirty, that he was only about 160cm tall, that when he performed in a suit and tie he would very occasionally loosen the tie during concerts - at which point his many fans of all genders would _fangasm_ \- that there were endless fan-made pictures of him in various states of undress, and often engaged in inventive sex acts with one or both of his fellow band members but always with the bandages covering at least part of their faces. He also discovered that some fans liked to write long and detailed stories about A’s sexual encounters with Z and/or z, capital Z being the big blond drummer, and lower case z the guitarist, who was pictured with a range of genitals and secondary sexual characteristics depending on the preferences of the artist. There were some stories labelled Zz as well, but there seemed to be fewer of those. Most of the excitement seemed to centre on A, which Erwin could understand.

Feeling a mix of shock, shame, and arousal at some of the things he was seeing, Erwin reminded himself that he had intended to find out what the singer _sounded_ like. He made his way to You Tube, where he found a wealth of videos of his new favourite band. The first song Erwin listened to was the band’s first hit – _Kneel, Pigs._ The music wasn’t at all to Erwin’s usual taste, but at least it had a melody and was surprisingly catchy. The lyrics ought to have been laughably grandiose – _Kneel, you pigs! I will destroy even the future… if you want relief, kneel before me_ – patently ridiculous – and yet… And yet, A’s voice, it turned out, was as alluring as his looks. He introduced the song in a tone that was the exact verbal equivalent to that calmly detached feeling Erwin had got from the poster. His voice was low and clear, but quiet, as though he was used to being listened to without interruption. Then he began to sing, and there was a mixture of passion, strength and vibrancy in his tone that his speaking voice hadn’t so much as hinted at. By the end of the song, Erwin was utterly captivated.

 _A_ was a revelation. Since his breakup with Marie, and once Armin was settled at high school, Erwin had explored his bisexuality through occasional dates, none of which had come to anything beyond two examples of fumbling, awkward sex with men he suspected were as inexperienced as himself, and a lot of mostly unsatisfying porn. He had never seen anyone, in real life, or on screen, who aroused him in the way this little singer did. There was something mesmerizing about A. It was something to do with the way he moved, his vigour and precision, his voice, his confidence – and, Erwin admitted to himself, even his lyrics: _kneel, pigs_ … Erwin had a sudden vivid mental image of himself on his knees in front of this dynamic, sexually compelling man. He had always been rather dismissive of teen crushes, sighing internally when kids at school talked endlessly about their favourite bands or actors, and he had hardly taken any notice of Eren’s bright-eyed enthusiasm for _No Name_. It was disconcerting – alarming even – to discover the capacity for such feelings in himself, at thirty-six years old. Perhaps he was going through some kind of early mid-life crisis? Trying to laugh it off, he told himself that at least it would be cheaper than a course of Botox and a flashy red sports car.

There was a pile of exercise books on the dining room table waiting to be marked, containing thirty essays on the causes of the First World War of which perhaps three would contain an original thought or turn of phrase. Erwin decided that focusing on them would provide the distraction he needed to take his mind off the mysterious _A_ before things got out of hand.

Unfortunately the first book on the pile belonged to Arthur Brant, a not unpromising pupil with a genuine interest in History. But Arthur, Erwin couldn’t help noticing, began with an A. His mind started wandering, considering possible names. Arthur was a good name, but too classic for the lead singer of No Name. For all his smart suit, there was something about the way he spoke that convinced Erwin he’d come from the wrong side of the tracks, and Arthur wasn’t usually that kind of name at all. He ran through names in alphabetical order – Aaron, Abel, Acton, Adam, Ahmed, Aidan – Hm, Aidan was possible…

 _Stop this_ , Erwin told himself firmly. _Work_. He marked the first six books on the pile before he came to Armin’s. _Armin_ … No. That would be too much of a weird coincidence. Adrian? Alfie? Al? Alan – was that it? Wrong generation, probably, like Andrew. No, he didn’t look like an Alan or an Andy. Alex? That was more widely used, but it didn’t really suit him either. Lex, perhaps… But he was known as A, not L. Alexander – too formal. Ashley? Asher, maybe? That sounded more like the right ballpark. Asher – Ash for short. Yes – Erwin could see him as an Ash.

The name conjured a little fantasy of Erwin passing the singer by chance out on an evening walk… The pen stilled on the page, as Erwin imagined a neon-lit street somewhere, or, no, maybe a side street away from the crowds, Ash leaning against a wall, their eyes meeting - a coolly appraising glance. “Got a light?”

In his fantasy he did have a light, although he hadn’t smoked since Nile had persuaded him to try it when they were still both at school. He held the lighter, and Ash gripped his wrist to steady the flame as he lit up. Erwin’s mind formed a vivid image of Ash’s lips parting as he brought the cigarette to his mouth. Swallowing, his mouth suddenly watering at the pictures in his head, Erwin felt his cock starting to stiffen. Ash inhaled, exhaled not quite in Erwin’s direction, half smiling. “Thanks. Needed that.”

“Anything else I can help you with?” Erwin almost groaned aloud at the cliché; he really had watched too much bad porn. But Ash seemed interested. He pushed dark hair out of his eyes with one hand, and looked Erwin up and down. “Maybe. Why don’t you kneel down…?”

Erwin dropped the pen. For a second he actually considered forgetting about his marking, locking himself in his bedroom just in case Armin came home early, and properly indulging in the fantasy of sucking off A in a dimly lit alleyway. Controlling the impulse with an effort, Erwin reminded himself that he had another set of books to mark after this one, as well as writing up an agenda for the departmental meeting on Monday, and that he’d already put off going to the gym twice that week. With a shake of his head and a smile at his own strange behaviour, Erwin picked up the pen again and forced himself to continue with his marking.

His resolve held out all morning. Just as he had finally finished his school work, his phone buzzed with a text from Armin: _staying over at Eren’s, back tomorrow._ Erwin decided to go for a run, returned after an hour and a half, got into the shower, and ten minutes later brought himself to the most intense orgasm he’d had in years, thinking about kneeling in the rain and sucking greedily on A’s cock, while the singer looked down at him out of dark, bored-looking eyes, a little half-smile on his lips. Erwin came to the idea of A coming, of himself swallowing, of A zipping himself up and turning away with a casual, “Yeah, thanks. That – wasn’t bad.”

In the afternoon, he finally got around to replacing the washer in the dripping bathroom tap, whistling a tune as he did so that he only realised afterwards was the No Name song he’d watched on You Tube in the morning.

 

As obsessions went, Erwin decided, it wasn’t an unhealthy one. Although A was clearly younger than him, he was an adult – a very experienced adult if even a fraction of the gossip he’d discovered on-line was true – and a useful outlet for the sexual feelings he’d done his best to set aside when Armin had made the decision to live with him after Marie and Nile had married. Erwin had never intended his self-imposed celibacy to be a permanent thing. At first he’d avoided any kind of relationship because he suspected Armin might be finding it difficult to cope after the breakup, and Erwin hadn’t wanted to make his son’s life any more complicated by introducing a new partner. Years had passed, and now… Now, he supposed, he’d just fallen into the habit of being without a partner. Once Armin was settled at high school Erwin had tried dating again in the long summer holidays while Armin was with Marie in Australia, but after those few failed attempts he’d more or less given up.

The truth was that he’d never met anyone who could match up to Marie. He’d never felt that sexual connection with anyone else – that necessary spark of attraction. And then he’d seen Armin’s poster, and felt instantly drawn to A, who was physically almost the opposite of Marie, his small, dark, hard, male physique and aggressive presence a complete contrast to Marie’s tall, golden, voluptuous femininity and gentle humour.

Having a ‘crush’, as he supposed it must be, on an attractive celebrity – that must be harmless, surely? Erwin, analytical by nature, told himself that, if anything, it was a _good_ thing – less distracting than a real relationship. He was busy with his demanding job - and Armin, who, he suspected, was going through some difficulties himself when it came to relationships, needed his attention. Erwin’s interest in A was a pleasant distraction from day-to-day reality, nothing more than that.

If the intensity of his feelings for a person he had never met, and never would meet, sometimes gave Erwin pause – if he occasionally caught himself wondering if it was normal for his desire for a fantasy crush to feel quite so close to the feelings associated with falling in love for real – then it was easy to push those worries aside. He only indulged in his fantasies in his free time – in the shower, or just before going to sleep. It wasn’t as though they were impinging on his real life. There had only been that one tedious staff meeting in which he’d found himself doodling the No Name logo in the margin of his notes, and if he sometimes fantasised about reaching for a cucumber while grocery shopping, only to find A about to grasp the same one…

“Oh, sorry, I was –”

“Nah, go ahead. I wanted a bigger one.”

“Really? I find the smaller ones are often tastier…”

Oh god! It wouldn’t have been so bad if Erwin’s fantasy scripts weren’t so full of horrible clichés and puerile innuendoes – but at least it made doing the weekly shop more interesting. Perhaps the cashier sometimes gave him a worried glance as he stood in the queue with glazed eyes and a probably creepy smile, imagining A leading him along the pickles and sauces aisle, past the baguettes, and into a convenient stockroom… but his obsession never went beyond that. It wasn’t as though he’d started writing fan mail declaring his undying love to A, who probably had a partner, or partners - maybe even one of the other band members – big Z or little z - or both? Erwin knew that the jealous feeling that twisted his gut at that thought was completely irrational, but it was undeniably _there_.

 

It wasn’t until several months later than Erwin realised his obsession was out of control. He’d developed the habit of sneaking into Armin’s room, when he was out or staying over at Eren’s, to gaze at his idol properly. Although he’d taken pictures of the poster on his phone, and had a large, and growing, stock of images and music videos on his laptop saved in a password-protected file just in case, the effect just wasn’t the same on a small screen.

One Saturday not long after the start of a new school year, Armin announced that he was going to work on a science project with another student called Reiner Braun. He hadn’t mentioned Reiner before and Erwin wasn’t sure whether to be pleased that Armin seemed to be making new friends, or worried that he apparently hadn’t seen much of Eren and Mikasa since returning from Australia at the end of the summer. When he’d joked cautiously, “Oh – I thought you always did projects with Eren,” Armin had given him an indecipherable look and replied, “Eren doesn’t know anything about Physics.” His tone had been oddly flat, which bothered Erwin. Armin was usually quietly enthusiastic, especially about academic work that sparked his interest.

Worrying about his son, Erwin wasn’t thinking about A and No Name at all, for once, when he went into Armin’s room to retrieve the tablet he was sure Armin must have left there. He stopped dead upon opening the door – the No Name poster was gone. A quick glance around the room discovered it in the wastepaper basket, torn to bits. The feeling that Erwin experienced was a kind of outraged grief - shockingly, _ridiculously_ intense. He knelt on the floor to retrieve the crumpled pieces of the poster from the otherwise empty basket, stricken at the thought of how far he had allowed his obsession to take hold. As his initial view had led him to suspect, the pictures of Z and z were still more or less intact, but A had been obliterated – his face and most of his body ripped into tiny shreds with a rage Erwin hadn’t thought Armin capable of. Erwin’s heart plummeted. He felt sick. Somehow Armin knew! It was the only scenario that made sense. He’d been so careful to give no sign of his interest, but what else would explain this deliberate destruction of A’s image?

When he’d judged that Armin was old enough, Erwin had done his best to explain his bisexuality and the part it had played in his breakup with Marie, and Armin had seemed to understand. But perhaps the idea of Erwin’s attraction to men as well as to women had been something Armin couldn’t accept on an emotional level, even if he’d taken it in intellectually? Armin had been extremely mature about it all – had said all the right things, and hadn’t blamed Erwin for keeping the secret that Marie hadn’t been able to overlook, or Marie for the affair that had led to her marriage to Nile. Had Armin’s sensible reaction just been an act, for his parents’ sake? Having lost the home life he was used to, had he feared the withdrawal of their love if he had expressed his anger?

Erwin knew he wouldn’t be able to settle to anything until he’d talked to Armin. He paced the living room, guilt gnawing at him. How had he allowed himself to become so distracted by an oddly alluring celebrity that he hadn’t noticed the fury building in his own son? He’d suspected that Armin wasn’t completely happy for some time, but whenever he’d raised it Armin had always fobbed him off with _Yeah – I’m just tired_ , or _Too much homework_ – or _I’m fine – stop worrying, Dad!_

What if this ridiculous obsession drove a serious wedge between them? Erwin imagined conversations he had always secretly dreaded – _You’re weird! – What the hell is wrong with you? – I want to live with Mum!_

 

When Armin finally came in, at half past nine, Erwin struggled not to demand answers immediately. Forcing himself to ask the normal questions, he tried to keep his expression neutral.

“Hi. I’m making a coffee – do you want one?”

Armin looked at him, instantly wary. “Okay... Thanks?” He followed Erwin into the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe, frowning slightly. Erwin made coffee, pretending everything was normal. “How did the project go?”

“Yeah – good. We finished it. Reiner’s smarter than – He knows a lot about this stuff.”

“That’s good.” Erwin handed Armin a mug of coffee. Armin looked at it, then back at his father. “What’s up?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re acting weird.”

Erwin sighed. “Yes – all right. There is something I want to discuss with you. Shall we go into the lounge?”

“No. Here’s fine. What is it?”

“I went to get the tablet from your room, and I noticed the poster –”

Armin went white. “So what?”

“I thought you liked No – whatever it is - that band?”

“They’re shit. I only put up that poster because Eren – They’re stupid, with their dumb bandages and those – those _inane_ lyrics! Mikasa’s right – it’s all just a gimmick. I hate them.” Armin spoke quietly, but with venomous passion.

“I couldn’t help noticing that it was only the singer you shredded?”

“What were you even doing in my room?” Armin demanded.

“I told you – I was looking for –”

“Yeah, I know what you _said_. But why do you care what posters I have?”

“I don’t. It’s just the way you ripped it up was so… ferocious.”

“I’m sick of it, that’s all,” Armin said quietly, shoulders slumping. “Everyone keeps going on about him all the time – Eren most of all. _A_ this and _A_ that – how cool he is, what it must be like to be him with all those fans wetting themselves with excitement every time he sings one of his stupid songs - Eren doesn’t talk about _anything_ else and it’s so _fucking_ boring. Sorry, but it is.”

Erwin let the swearing go, half shocked by Armin’s outburst, half relieved. “So – you’re upset because Eren’s obsessed by this singer, and you’re afraid you’re losing your friend?”

It was only when Armin snorted at the word _friend_ that the penny finally dropped. Erwin’s eyes widened. Armin looked down, his expression utterly miserable.

“Oh,” Erwin said.

“Yeah. So.”

“I didn’t realise. At least, I wasn’t sure.”

“No. Well.”

“And Eren’s not –”

“He’s gay. But he doesn’t care about anyone except Le – except _A_. It’s like he really _loves_ him or something. Which is so stupid, because he’s only met him once, and anyway, he’s, like, nearly thirty, so under all those bandages he’s just some boring old guy.”

“Eren’s _met_ A?” Erwin asked, astonished, before he could stop himself.

Armin stared at him, a faint flush appearing on his cheeks. “Oh – I… I wasn’t supposed to say…”

“When did that happen?”

“You have to promise not to tell anyone…”

Years of training kicked in. Erwin shook his head. “You know I can’t promise anything when I don’t know what you’re about to tell me, Armin. If there are child protection issues –”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Dad! Levi wouldn’t look at Eren! It’s not like that. He’s Mikasa’s cousin.”

“Who is? Who’s _Levi_?”

“I just told you – Mikasa’s cousin. On her birth dad’s side.”

“No – but what’s that got to do with – You mean –”

“A’s real name is Levi. He’s Mikasa’s cousin. They made me swear not to tell anyone, but I don’t really care any more.”

Erwin’s fantasy of a mysterious stranger called Asher vanished. “But – but Levi doesn’t even start with an A!” was all he could think of to say.

Armin gave him a pitying look. “Levi _Ackerman_. Mikasa’s last name is Ackerman, remember? You taught her for two years!”

“Oh – yes. Yes, I remember. _Levi Ackerman_. Levi… I see. So Eren met -”

“Yeah. It was only a couple of years ago that Mikasa even found out her cousin existed. He came from some kind of bad background – I don’t know what exactly. But he got in touch with her just before the band started getting serious attention. Remember that first concert we went to? Mikasa got the tickets from him. He visited their house later – that’s when Eren met him. And ever since then Eren’s been this unbearable fanboy! Sometimes I think he’s going to explode with not being able to tell everyone that he’s actually met the amazing A from No Name.”

“But – A – I mean Levi – he’s really that old?” Erwin asked. “He’s _thirty_?”

“He doesn’t look it, _apparently_ ,” Armin replied bitterly. “But yeah – I think he’s nearly thirty.” He scoffed, looking at Erwin. “Nearly as ancient as you. And Eren can’t shut up about him for a minute.”

“And you like Eren?” Erwin asked gently.

Armin nodded, looking defeated. “I do. I _did_ … Yeah, I do. I just can’t stand joining in with any more of his ‘let’s-all-talk-about-how-great-Levi-is’ sessions whenever we get any time alone. I tried. I put up that poster – I listened to their shitty music over and over – but I can’t do it any more. He has these pictures on his phone – he took them when Levi visited. He can’t show them to anyone except me and Mikasa, but I don’t want to look at them ever again – not now he’s going to be in the same house. I can’t go over there and see Eren all gooey-eyed over some short old guy just because he’s famous – I can’t!”

“No – I can see how that would be difficult…” Part of what Armin had said suddenly registered with Erwin – “Wait – what do you mean he’s going to be in the same house?”

“He’s had some trouble with paparazzi stalking him or something. The Yeagers have said he can stay with them for a while – until things have calmed down.”

“Just him? What about the other band members?”

“Hange and Mike have places to go apparently. And they’re not really what the journalists are interested in. Something’s come out about Levi’s past – some long lost uncle of his causing trouble, spreading rumours. I don’t know. Eren was telling me about it, but I kind of lost the will to live. It’s not going to end well, that’s all I know.”

“How do you mean?”

“Like I said, I’m pretty sure Levi’s not going to be interested in Eren. If the Yeagers were worried about that, they wouldn’t let him stay, would they? So best case is that Eren will be badly disappointed, and worst case he’ll do something to totally embarrass himself.”

Erwin looked at Armin, alarmed. “Like what?”

“I don’t know. But I do know how Eren feels about Levi, so I wouldn’t put anything past him! You don’t know what Eren’s like when he gets an idea in his head. He’s obsessed.” Armin sighed. “It’s pathetic, really.”

There was little Erwin could say to that without shame, so he tried to focus on the practical. “Does Eren know how you feel?”

Armin shook his head. “And I don’t want him to. It’s better if I just keep out of his way. I’ve been hanging out with Reiner and Bert, and some of their friends from Science club.”

“You may find that once Eren gets to know this Levi for real, some of the shine will rub off. No one’s that interesting in day-to-day life.”

“He’s a millionaire rock star with, according to Eren, ‘brooding good looks’, and ‘incredible silver-grey eyes’,” Armin sighed. “I don’t think Eren’s going to get tired of having him around any time soon. I – I am worried for him though. It’s going to be rough on him if – when – Levi turns him down.”

“He’ll need you, if that happens,” Erwin said. “If you think you can be that strong?”

“I will. I won’t see him as much as I used to unless he asks me to, but I’m not going to cut him off. I hope… Whatever else, I hope we can stay friends.”

Erwin gave Armin a hug, and Armin accepted it for a moment.

“When did you get to be so mature?” Erwin asked, surprised and impressed, as he often was these days, by the son he and Marie had somehow managed to produce.

Armin wrinkled his nose. “I don’t _feel_ mature. Sometimes I feel like I could scream! You’re lucky – to be a proper adult. Past all these stupid feelings and crushes.”

Erwin couldn’t think of a reply, hugging his amazing son again instead, until Armin ducked out of his embrace with a half-pleased, half-embarrassed, “Okay, Dad – you can let go now. I’ll be fine.”

 

That night Erwin lay awake for a long time, thinking of Armin, considering the confirmation that he was gay and how he would navigate that as a parent, the depth of Armin’s feelings for Eren and how that relationship would change as a result, and the issue of the conservative Nile and how he might react to the fact of his stepson’s sexuality. Somewhere at the back of his mind other thoughts formed and reformed in spite of his determination in pushing them away: A’s name was Levi Ackerman – _Levi_ … He had grey eyes, not the dark brown Erwin had been imagining… He would be staying at the Yeagers’ house, less than half a mile away.


	2. Getting Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin prepares to meet his superstar house guest, and Eren has a conversation with Armin that's not as embarrassing as it ought to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the warm response to this story. I really appreciate all the hits, kudoses and comments.

For a few weeks, things settled back into a more-or-less normal routine, the main difference being Eren’s absence. Erwin, who had seen so much of Eren over the years that he had started to think of him as a sort of honorary second son, found he missed his noisy, exuberant presence in the house. Armin seemed tranquil enough, but there was an air of quiet sadness about him that made Erwin’s heart ache.

“How are things going with Eren?” he asked one evening over dinner. “Do you see him at school much?”

“Yeah – we’re okay. He’s still obsessed with Levi though – but he can’t tell anyone at school who he is, obviously. All anyone else knows is that some cousin of Mikasa’s is staying.”

“So the glamour hasn’t worn off yet?”

Armin rolled his eyes. “No – A’s still shiny. Mikasa doesn’t like him much though. I think she gets sick of Eren going on about him almost as much as I do. In fact, she’s been going to sleepovers at Sasha’s at the weekends to ‘get away from the Levi fan club’, as she put it.”

“What do Dr. and Mrs. Yeager think of their guest?”

Armin shrugged. “Don’t know. Even Mikasa says he’s very clean and tidy though, so I guess they don’t mind him too much.”

Erwin smiled. “That doesn’t sound very rock and roll!”

“No. But Eren doesn’t seem to have been put off. He’s suddenly started to take an interest in the best way to get mildew off grout, according to Mikasa.”

To his mental store of potentially erotic fantasies Erwin added the absurd image of Levi in a shower, still wearing his No Name suit and bandages while scrubbing mould from the tiles.

“Damn it – there’s a bit I can’t reach…”

“Maybe I could help you with that?” Erwin squeezed into the shower cubicle behind Levi, taking the scrubbing brush from him, and reaching up, accidentally knocking the shower on in the process. Levi turned to him, wet, dark hair framing his perfect face, the bandages coming away in the water to reveal smouldering grey eyes…

Armin’s phone rang. “Oh – it’s Mikasa. Hi? Dad? Yeah, but why? Oh – okay –” He held out the phone to Erwin. “Dr. Yeager wants to talk to you.”

 

“What do you mean _here_?” Armin’s expression told Erwin exactly what he thought of the idea of Levi Ackerman staying in their home.

“It makes sense. He can’t stay at the Yeagers’ any longer, and the spare room is free.”

“He’s a millionaire! He could stay anywhere!”

“Not without the risk of someone letting the press know his whereabouts. He’s managed to avoid them altogether these last three weeks, staying with the Yeagers. But circumstances have changed.”

“What circumstances?”

“I can’t go into details.”

Armin’s eyes widened. “Oh no - I knew it! Eren did something stupid, didn’t he?”

“I can’t discuss it, I’m sorry. Dr. Yeager says that Levi is a quiet and undemanding houseguest, and it will only be for a few days – a week at most.” Erwin hesitated, trying to gauge the depths of Armin’s opposition. “I’ve said yes to the Yeagers provisionally, but if you really don’t like the idea, I’ll phone back and tell them to ask Levi to find somewhere else to go. But Carla asked if you would be prepared to stay with them for a while – for tonight, at least. Eren… Eren needs a friend at the moment.”

Armin sighed. “What happened?”

“Probably the kind of thing you were afraid of. But it’s not for me to tell you.”

“You know Eren’s going to tell me whatever it is you’re being so secretive about, don’t you?”

“Yes, I expect so. But it’s up to him to decide whether he wants to confide in anyone.” Erwin put a reassuring hand on Armin’s shoulder. “He’ll need you. I think – it won’t be easy.”

“I’ll be okay, Dad. I’ll take a few things and head over there now. If he lets me, I’ll stay over. And you… well, good luck with Levi. You’ll probably need it, if what Mikasa says is true!”

“Why – what does she say?”

“Oh – that he’s awkward and unapproachable, curses all the time without realising he’s doing it… generally a bit weird.”

“That’s strange – Dr. Yeager said he was polite and unassuming!”

“Yeah – well he wanted you to take him in, so he would, wouldn’t he?”

Erwin tried not to smile at Armin’s sudden liveliness. Although he knew his son was genuinely very worried about Eren, the fact that Eren needed him was clearly already helping him to shake off the low mood that had dogged him since the summer.

When Armin had gone, Erwin had time to address his own feelings. He made up the bed in the spare room with automatic movements, still stunned by the thought that the object of his sex fantasies would soon be sleeping under his roof.

“He’s just a man,” he told himself, breathing deeply to get his racing heart under control. “Everything I said to Armin is true – after a day or two, he’ll seem like anyone else. _Quiet and considerate_ , Grisha Yeager said. Nothing like his stage persona at all.”

Remembering what Armin had said about Levi’s neatness, Erwin cleaned the bathroom thoroughly and did his best to tidy up the rest of the house, although he despaired of his corner of the dining room, with its haphazard piles of books and teaching resources. When he’d finished he tried to settle to some planning for the following term, but his mind wasn’t on the job, and when the doorbell finally rang he started so violently that he knocked a pile of papers off the table.

Although he’d known Levi’s small stature from all the profiles of him he’d read online, Erwin still wasn’t prepared for the difference between himself and the singer, especially when his own height was increased by the rather high doorstep. Looking down into Levi’s eyes he forgot their height difference immediately though, as he realised that Eren’s description of the colour, at least, had been accurate. Levi’s eyes really were an unusual shade of light grey-blue that could almost have been called silver by a romantically inclined viewer. They were also deeply shadowed, weary-looking rather than arrogantly bored, and surrounded by dark circles and the beginnings of crows’ feet at the corners. For all that, though, Erwin found himself looking at a remarkably attractive face.

Realising that he was staring, Erwin held out his hand self-consciously. “Hello – you must be Levi. I’m Erwin. Please, come in.”

Levi looked as though he wasn’t sure which to do first. He took a step into the house, and seized Erwin’s hand at the same time, which brought him uncomfortably close. Erwin stepped back into the hallway, and Levi withdrew his hand quickly and turned away to close the door behind him.

“Thanks,” he said, in the low, quiet voice Erwin had come to love from the dozens of chat shows and interviews he’d watched on You Tube. “It’s good of you to let me stay, after… Dr. Yeager explained, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“This won’t… You being a teacher, an’ shi – uh - and everything. I don’t wanna make things difficult for you.”

Erwin felt stupid for never once having considered the possible professional repercussions of his decision, but, thinking about it on the spot, he didn’t assess the risks as being very high. “It’s not likely to get out, is it?” he said, attempting to reassure himself as much as Levi. “Eren’s hardly likely to say anything, and I assume you’ve deleted the photos?”

“Fuck yeah! Oh – sorry. I mean, yeah – yeah – the second they arrived. Dumbass kids. They don’t think – they put themselves in danger… I never thought about all this shit when – um, I mean –”

“My son’s not in the house at the moment,” Erwin said, smiling. “Feel free to curse all you like.”

“Feels weird, in front of a teacher. I don’t hear myself sometimes. But, yeah – it’s one of the things I never thought about with being famous. Most of the time it’s not a problem – the official fan club deals with all the letters and messages. I don’t do Twitter, all that. Eren though… He stole Mikasa’s phone – got my number...”

“I see. And I think Armin said Mikasa is your cousin?”

“Distant cousin, yeah. I tracked her down once the band started getting more gigs – went to visit, and gave her and her friends tickets. Probably better for her if I hadn’t. She’s a good kid. Doesn’t like me much! Can’t blame… She’ll hate me now, because of Eren. She’s so protective of him, like she’s five years older or some shit.” Levi sighed. Erwin had to resist a few protective feelings of his own. “I’m sure things will sort themselves out. They’re young. Come through – have a seat. Would you like a drink?” Erwin thought about his meagre supplies of alcohol: an old single malt his colleagues had bought for him two birthdays ago, a trio of probably-past-their-sell-by-date Belgian beers, and two bottles of average red wine. Perhaps the whiskey would be suitably rock star?

“I could use a cup of tea,” Levi said, perching on the edge of the sagging leather couch with evident relief, depositing a very ordinary looking sports bag at his feet.

“I’ll show you your room later,” Erwin said, eyeing the bag – “when the rest of your luggage arrives.”

Levi shook his head. “This is it. I had to leave my London place fast when all the shit with Kenny went down. I don’t know if you’ve heard about what happened from the Yeagers? Don’t suppose you’d even heard of No Name before this…”

Erwin had to suppress a smile at that. “I’ll get the tea, and you can tell me about it. I have English Breakfast, Ceylon, or Earl Grey.”

“Ceylon, thanks. Milk, no sugar. You want me to make it?”

“No, that’s fine. You relax.”

Levi gave a small, half-smile, his fingers tapping against his thigh. “Not good at that. Drives Mike mad. Calls me jitterbug.”

“Mike?” Erwin called from the kitchen.

“Yeah – drummer in the band. He’s always still, when he’s not drumming or running. Hange’s like me, though. Antsy, Mike calls us. Paparazzis keep spreading these rumours we’re on something.”

“You’re not, are you?” Erwin asked, resisting the temptation to correct _paparazzis_.

Levi appeared in the corridor, leaning on the kitchen doorframe. “Shit, no. Don’t touch any of that. Not after… Way I grew up, you don’t forget what it does to people.” He gave an ironic smile, which sent a jolt of pure lust to Erwin’s groin and had him hastily turning away to find the milk. “Paps would never believe how boring I am.”

Erwin raised an eyebrow. “That’s not what I h–”

“Hm?”

“Oh – nothing. Just – Eren used to talk about the band a bit when he was over, and – I don’t know… All the stories about you and the other two. A2Z, all that.”

“Tch. That’s all bullshit. Mike’s straight, and Hange – I don’t even know. Hange doesn’t really talk about that stuff.”

Erwin’s heart gave a stupid, hopeful leap at the implications of _Mike’s straight_.

“No time for that, anyway. And most of the fans are kids, like Eren. That, or older women. Some hot guys, but - didn’t take long to learn to steer clear of fans. It’s hard to judge who could be something, and who’s gonna turn into a kiss-and-tell. And when you’re trying to stay anonymous, screwing random strangers isn’t a good plan.”

“Is it ever?” Erwin asked.

Levi shook his head. “Yeah – probably not. But you know how it is when you’re young and dumb.”

Erwin didn’t know how to reply to that, and before he could think of anything, Levi gave a soft laugh. “Nah – you don’t, do you? Bet you were never dumb. Straight As, college, all that…”

“Well – yes, academically speaking. But I’ve done plenty of stupid things in my life, believe me.” _Like not telling my ex-wife that I was also attracted to men_ , Erwin thought, but didn’t add, despite the temptation to lay those particular cards on the table just in case. He handed Levi a mug of tea, picked up his own, and gestured around the kitchen with his free hand. “Don’t wait to be asked if you want anything. Make yourself food and drinks. I don’t know what you want to do about evening meals – we could eat together if you like, or –”

“I’ll cook. I like cooking. You’ll be at work, won’t you, in the week? Just let me know if there’s anything you don’t like. I’ll order in groceries. You can leave all that to me.”

“Well – we could take turns…”

“Yeah? But I don’t mind cooking. And I’ll pay rent, of course. Tell me how much, and –”

“No, Levi, that’s not necessary. Not unless you’re planning on staying long term!”

“Oh – no, don’t worry. Only until I can shake these paps and get Kenny off my case.”

Erwin led the way back to the sitting room. “You were going to tell me about that – the Kenny situation?”

“Yeah. Okay. It’s not… Okay. Mum died when I was seven. Her brother, Kenny, brought me up until I was fourteen, then he left. He taught me shit he thought I’d need to survive, and I guess… but most of it wasn’t exactly… legal. I had friends who sometimes worked with us: Farlan and Isabel. I stayed with them for a couple of years after Kenny left. Then some guys came to find me, asking about Kenny. Seems he owed them a lot of money. I told them I didn’t know where he was but they didn’t believe me. Started on me – but I’ve always been stronger than I look, and Kenny taught me some moves. Got away – think I hurt at least one of them pretty bad. I had to run. Told Farlan to get Isabel away before the guys chasing Kenny caught up with them too – I think they went north. I’ve tried to track them down, now I’m in a position to help them, but so far no luck. Farlan was always smart – much smarter than me. He would have changed their names – found a way out… I’m not giving up though…

“Anyway, then I caught a train, ended up in some shitty town by the sea – broke into a caravan and lived there for a while. I made some money singing – had an old hat of Kenny’s, so I put that on the pavement and just sang songs I remembered from when Kenny used to listen to the radio. Lived like that for six months nearly – all through winter. Then one day I met Mike, and he said he had this band looking for a singer…

“We did gigs at small places for years – all working a lot of jobs – cleaning, bar work… Never heard from Kenny. I figured he was most likely dead. We hit the big time – I left all that shit behind me. Then I got a message – letter in a plain envelope through the door – Kenny, asking for money, saying I owed him. I figured I did, kinda, so I wrote him a cheque and sent it to the address on the letter – some cheap hotel. Six months later – another letter. I told him what I’d paid was all I was gonna pay, and I didn’t hear any more for a while. And then three weeks ago some crappy tabloid published this story by someone called K claiming to know A’s real identity, and the secrets of his shady past. I woke up to all this yelling, and there were about forty paps on the doorstep. I packed a bag, climbed out of the attic window, and got away across the roofs. Then I called Mike and Hange, and told them to lay low. I didn’t know where to go. I had Mikasa’s number, so I called her on the off chance, and the Yeagers let me stay. I swear, if I’d guessed Eren was such a fanboy…”

The teacher side of Erwin itched to correct _lay low_ , but he was much more concerned about Levi’s story. “You’re not to blame for Eren’s behaviour. Your response was right – deleting the photos immediately, and asking him to tell his parents. But you should go to the police about Kenny.”

Levi looked away, frowning. “No. Can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“He’s still my uncle… Anyway… you don’t go to the police.”

“But if he’s blackmailing you –”

“Not how it works, where I come from. He’ll back off.”

“But if –”

“No.” Levi got to his feet abruptly, pacing the small room. “I figured you should know, since I’m staying here, that’s all. But I don’t want advice. I’m dealing with it, okay?”

“Yes, okay. I’m sorry – it’s your business.”

Levi looked at him, and Erwin was oddly moved by the relief in his eyes. “Yeah – yeah, thanks.” Levi ran one fine-boned hand through his dark hair, and Erwin felt an inappropriate jolt of lust at the gesture. He picked up the empty mugs from the coffee table and went to the kitchen, admonishing himself for his feelings, and for presuming to advise Levi about the right course of action when he was clearly dealing with a world Erwin knew absolutely nothing about.

*

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Eren sat on the edge of his bed, arms folded defensively across his chest, shoulders hunched. On the wall behind him Armin could see a fragment of paper still clinging to one of the dots of Blu-Tack where Eren’s collection of No Name posters had hung until the previous evening.

“Okay.” Armin opened his backpack, and took out the game he hadn’t played with Eren since before the summer. “Can I use your Xbox?”

“Go ahead.”

Armin played in silence for a while, sitting on the floor, leaning against Eren’s bed, the sound on the game turned down unusually low. Eren watched from the bed behind Armin.

“That wraith will –”

“Yeah – got it. I still have four potions.”

“Okay. And about fifteen cabbages.”

Armin glanced round at Eren, relieved by the trace of humour in his tone. “Yeah – I’m a walking fart factory.”

“If you lose that axe, you can gas them to death…” Eren sounded weary, but Armin knew he was trying. He made himself laugh. Behind him, Eren sighed. “…I feel like a total fucking prick.”

Armin didn’t look at him. “No one’s thinking that.”

“Yeah, they are. The way Mum and Dad looked at me… But I thought… I really thought he might –”

“I know.”

“Worst thing was, he was so fucking _nice_ about it. Came to see me – didn’t go to them.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. He –” Eren’s voice caught. Armin killed another wraith. “He was standing right there, by the door. He said, “Hey, Eren,” and for a second I thought – you know. But then I saw his face, and he was…. I dunno. Not like I imagined it at all. He looked – kinda _scared_.”

“I suppose he probably didn’t know what to do,” Armin said.

“That’s what _he_ said. He said, “I don’t know what…” and then he was, like, “Shit, kid, you can’t go around…” And – and even then, I was kind of hoping… I said, “I’m not a kid,” in this fucking _stupid_ deep voice… Oh _God!_ ”

Armin stayed where he was, forcing his thumb to keep pressing X. Behind him, Eren sniffed quietly. “He… He said he’d deleted the photos. Said I shouldn’t put myself at risk like that. Told me I was a good-looking kid, and that I’d find someone my own age – all that. I said I didn’t want anyone else – said if he’d just wait ’til I was a bit older... He said – he said, “Sorry”. Just like that – like just… So fucking _final_. So I… I kind of… I kind of threw myself at him, but he just – he didn’t push me away – he just put his hands on my shoulders and looked right at me, and said, “No, Eren,” really quiet - but that’s when I knew there was no way… Then he let me go, and he said, “I’ll move out tomorrow. Look - I’m not telling you what to do – I’m the last fucking person to tell anyone what they should do – but think about telling your parents, yeah?”

“And I thought I _couldn’t_ … but they knew something was up, and Le – Levi was packing to go, but I knew he didn’t have anywhere to go – and Mum asked me what happened like she thought – like she thought _he_ might have… And I knew I had to tell her what I did.”

“That –” Armin cleared his throat – “That must’ve been hard.”

“Yeah… Yeah. But she was okay about it. Angry, at first – worried, I guess – but okay. And Dad was okay in the end – when he’d calmed down. After the lecture.”

“Which you didn’t exactly need by then,” Armin said.

“Huh. Yeah - no.”

“What about Mikasa?”

“She was great. She just gave me a look – you know – the _look_ – and told me I was an idiot, and I could do better, and she never knew what I saw in him in the first place. And how if I ever took her phone again she’d kill me slowly.”

Armin’s laugh was less forced this time. “Sounds like Mikasa.”

“Yeah.”

Armin continued with the game, relieved that Eren seemed to be taking things so much better than he’d feared. There was another long but more comfortable silence while Armin searched chests in an ice cavern and upgraded his armour.

“I was an idiot though, wasn’t I?” Eren asked suddenly.

Armin paused the game, and turned to face him. “No… No – I know you really liked him. But sending nudes – that… wasn’t a good plan. And you know he’s a lot older than he looks.”

“I _was_ an idiot. I know I was. Expecting him to just… But, I mean, all the rumours – like, that he lost his virginity at fourteen…”

“But no one even knows who he really is, so you know those rumours are just made up,” Armin pointed out.

“Yeah. Well – I won’t make those mistakes again. I was way too unsubtle.”

Cold doubt gripped Armin; Eren was taking this far too well. He was obviously deeply embarrassed, but nowhere near as devastated as Armin had expected him to be. And his eyes still had that light in them – that obsessive gleam that had always appeared whenever he’d talked about Levi in the past.

“What do you mean?” Armin asked. “… Eren?”

“Look. I took down the posters, so Mum and Dad wouldn’t know… But I kept them all. And this one…” He opened the wardrobe to reveal the same poster Armin had destroyed stuck to the inside of the door – “This one, I’m keeping here, so I can still look at it. I wasn’t thinking things through. _Of course_ he had to say all that stuff – with me being underage, and him being related to Mikasa and everything. But he was so nice about it – and if he didn’t feel anything, he’d have been really pissed off, wouldn’t he? And he said I was good-looking.”

“But he was probably just –”

“No – it was his way of letting me know that if things were different, he’d be interested. I’m sure it was! So all I have to do is train so I get a better body, and wait a few months so at least I’m legal. And maybe I should try to get a bit of experience so I don’t come across as such a kid. That way, next time he comes to see Mikasa… I mean, he’s nearly thirty, and he hasn’t settled down yet, so chances are he’ll still be free!” Eren’s cheeks were flushed, and his eyes very bright. He looked at Armin expectantly. “Well?”

“Well what?”

“What do you think? Good plan?”

Armin only hesitated for a moment. “Yeah. Good plan. As long as you don’t try to make contact with him in the meantime. You have to step back – do all those things you said – and wait for him to come back here. You _can’t_ go chasing after him, or he’ll definitely see you as some bratty fanboy. If you send him even one message you could get yourself, and him, into a lot of trouble.”

“Yeah, I know. I just wasn’t thinking. Anyway, he’s changed his number – he gave the new one to Mum. Not even Mikasa has it now.”

“Right. Good. Well… I don’t mind helping, if you want. Like, we could train together – go running or something?”

“Yeah? That would be cool – but I didn’t think you were really into exercise?”

“Dad’s always saying I should try to do a bit more. He’d probably be pleased.”

“Yeah? Okay, then! Let’s make a schedule…”

Armin watched Eren as he practically bounced around the room looking for a notebook and a pen. When he found them he perched on the edge of his desk looking at Armin, his eyes all but glowing. “So – we’ll work it out here, and then put all the dates in our phones…”

“Okay.”

“I’m definitely gonna get a six-pack! Levi has a body like - whoa! I saw him coming out of the shower the first week he was here… My fucking wrist was killing me the next day!”

“That’s… a bit too much information,” Armin told him, pretending to laugh, trying not to blush. He was hopeful, though, that his own plans might have time to come to a more satisfactory conclusion for everyone before Eren had the chance to embarrass himself, and Levi, again.

*

“Mmm, that was really good!” Erwin sighed with satisfaction, putting down his fork.

“Yeah?”

“Yes. You’re an excellent cook. Where did you learn?”

“Living with Mike and Hange I guess. They shared a house – let me stay on the couch for free until I got a job in a bar, while we were getting the band going. Mike’s a good cook. Hange’s… creative.”

“Well, I’m grateful.”

“Seems like you work a lot in the evenings, if they’re all like yesterday. I don’t have a lot to do at the moment. I’ve been writing a few songs – trying anyway… Nothing in the press today. Reckon Kenny was trying to scare me into coughing up. That ‘story’ didn’t amount to any info at all.”

“You think it _was_ him?” Erwin asked, getting up to load the dishwasher.

“Yeah. There was the K, for a start. And that bit about how ‘A’ had an unconventional childhood. I might… I was thinking about turning up at the hotel – the address he sent. If I see him face to face, it might make a difference. I dunno if it’s just the money he wants, or if he really thinks I should be grateful. He did technically keep me alive after Mum died – but -” Levi stopped talking and got to his feet, taking crockery and cutlery to the dishwasher, leaning down to stack the plates, very close to Erwin. Erwin tried not to let the instant tension he felt show in his body.

“But?” he prompted.

“What?”

“You said Kenny kept you alive, _but_ \- ?”

“Oh… Yeah. No, it doesn’t matter. He wasn’t exactly a great role model, that’s all. But he didn’t have to take me in at all, so… Guess I wouldn’t’ve done any better in care. Might’ve done a lot worse.”

“Well… If you do go to meet him, just – be careful.”

Levi’s fine brows drew together. “Tch. Really? You think?”

Erwin shook his head. “Sorry. I’m sorry… I’m stuck in permanent teacher mode, I suppose.”

“Or Dad mode...” Levi seemed more amused than annoyed. “Eren talks about Armin a lot. He sounds like a good kid. Mikasa rates him, and you have to be something special to win her approval.”

“Yes,” Erwin agreed enthusiastically, almost visibly swelling with pride in his son, “Yes – Armin’s a great kid.”

Levi moved away to wipe down the table, but not before Erwin saw a strange, wistful look cross his face.

“You must’ve had him young,” Levi commented.

“Yes – I was only just twenty-one when he was born. Marie was the same age. We were together in high school – married at nineteen.”

“But -” Levi stopped talking.

“It’s okay,” Erwin said. “You can ask. We married much too young, and there were… things I didn’t tell her that I should have done… She’s much happier now, with her second husband, Nile.”

Levi turned to face him. “So – you – you’re what? Gay? Bi?”

Erwin hoped that the heat he felt suffusing his body hadn’t turned his face scarlet. “Bi.”

Levi nodded. “Thought there was something… But you’re not with anyone now?”

“No. No one serious since the divorce.”

“Which was when?”

“Eight years ago.”

“Right.” Levi didn’t say anything else. Erwin wondered what he was thinking. Wringing out the cloth he’d used to clean the table, Levi rinsed it thoroughly under the tap and hung it neatly on the edge of the sink to dry. Erwin watched the flexing of the well-defined muscles in his forearms with helpless longing. He had a sudden, vivid image of running his lips over the dark hairs there – of kissing Levi’s strong hands.

“I guess you must have work to do,” Levi said. “I’ll get out of your way. I might go for a run, as soon as it gets dark.”

“For once, there’s nothing I still have to do for tomorrow,” Erwin said. “I could use a run myself, if you don’t object to company?”

“Yeah – okay. If you think you can keep up,” Levi replied, with a lift of one eyebrow, and a small, challenging smile.

All Erwin’s blood seemed to rush southwards, but he managed a smile of his own, and fortunately sounded a lot more confident than he felt when he added, “I used to run for my college so we’ll see who has to keep up with whom.”

“ _Whom_ …” Levi echoed with faint derision.

“Yes – ‘whom’ is grammatically correct,” Erwin said, a little piqued.

“Not saying it isn’t, but it still sounds weird,” Levi replied. “Whom. _Whom_. Whoooom. No… It’s one of those words, if you say it too many times it stops making any sense.”

“You get that, too?” Erwin asked, surprised.

“Yeah – everyone gets that, don’t they? I should put that in a song… Have you got a pen?”

“You’re going to put _whom_ in a song?”

Levi laughed. “No! Words that stop making sense. I like that idea – you could pin something on that. Like, maybe, how you’re with someone, and you keep saying the same shit, but things change, and what the words mean… I need to work on it, but yeah.”

“Yes,” Erwin replied, excited by the idea. “Yes – that could be an interesting metaphor – the meanings of words dissolving with repetition as a purely auditory phenomenon, but also showing how that parallels the loss of meaning in a relationship when once-meaningful phrases become meaningless.”

Levi shot him an exasperated glance. “Yeah. What I said, in, like, half the syllables. Pen?”

Feeling suitably reprimanded and rather ashamed of his patronizing assumptions, Erwin found a pen and paper and handed them to Levi.

“Thanks.” Levi went up to his room, clearly deep in thought. Erwin watched his light ascent of the stairs, impressed by his ideas as much as by the easy grace of his quick movements, hoping very much that he wouldn’t lose himself in writing his song and forget about going for a run.

 

“You’re very fit!” Erwin exclaimed, struggling to regulate his breathing as he jogged back to the house beside Levi, who barely seemed to have broken a sweat.

“Yeah – well, I’ve been touring pretty much nonstop for the last eight months. Our shows are high-energy. If you’re not fit, you’re fucked.”

“Yes – I’ve seen videos of your concerts,” Erwin replied without thinking. Levi looked at him, surprised. “Yeah?”

“Yes… Armin – Eren and Armin used to watch them at home sometimes.”

“Right.” Levi suddenly seemed uncharacteristically diffident. “So… what did you think?”

_That you’re the most compelling performer it’s ever been my privilege to watch. That I can’t take my eyes off you. That when you look down into the camera with that assumed arrogance and that little sneer, I want to fall at your feet and worship –_

“Very impressive,” Erwin said, instead. “Dynamic. You’re all very watchable – you especially. I can see why you have the following you do.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

Levi made no further comment, but Erwin already knew him well enough to recognise that he was pleased.

While Levi was in the shower, Erwin texted Armin, who replied almost at once – _everything ok staying at E’s again tonight_. Erwin tried not to think about the fact that he would be spending another night with no one else in the house apart from Levi Ackerman – the enigmatic ‘A’ from No Name - when half the girls in his school, and a good number of the boys, would sell their souls for the opportunity. On the previous evening Levi had gone to his room early and only appeared again to make breakfast for both of them an hour before Erwin had to leave for work, but tonight… It wasn’t even nine, and Erwin wondered whether it would seem creepy if he asked Levi if he wanted a drink, or to watch a film, or -

There was a quiet knock on his bedroom door. Erwin opened it to find Levi standing there, naked to the waist, his hair damp, wearing only a dark blue towel.

The image burned itself into Erwin’s mind instantly, and he knew without any doubt whatsoever that he would be revisiting it often.

“Hi,” Levi said, unnecessarily. “I left my towel at the Yeagers’. Is it okay if I use this one?”

 _Use whatever you want_ , _me included_ , Erwin thought, but managed not to say. “Yes – yes, of course. You don’t need to ask. - It looks better on you anyway.”

Levi raised his eyebrows, and Erwin mentally face-palmed, not quite believing the crassness of his own comment.

“Okay… Thanks…” Levi vanished into his room rapidly, without a backward glance. Erwin fetched a new towel, went to the shower, undressed and got in, without seeing anything at all, his brain replaying his ridiculous words over and over. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt more embarrassed. “ _It looks better on you!_ ” he repeated softly, cringing. “It’s a _towel_! He must think I’m a complete idiot!”

 _Still,_ he reflected, washing away some of the shame with the warm water… _it wasn’t a lie. He looked… He’s just… His body is incredible! But no – no, I_ can’t _– not after…_ But however hard he tried to tell himself that it would be bad manners to get himself off fantasizing about his guest, his body seemed to have other ideas, and he reached for his already-swelling cock with far less guilt than he knew he should probably be feeling.

 


	3. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that his celebrity crush has moved into his house, Erwin finds that things move faster than he could ever have dreamed... 
> 
> This chapter is mostly Eruri smut. Plot will resume next time.

Freshly showered and changed, Erwin was in the living room watching the evening news when Levi appeared in tight black jeans and a grey t-shirt, holding Erwin’s pen and a notebook.

“I’ve been trying to write a song – that stuff we talked about earlier,” he said, without preamble, “but I dunno if… You’re a teacher – can you tell me if this sounds okay?” He looked from Erwin to the TV screen and back. “Oh – but you’re watching…”

“It’s fine,” Erwin said, turning off the TV. “I’d be happy to help.”

Levi sat on the couch next to him, close enough for Erwin to become forcefully aware of the way his soap smelled on Levi’s skin. It was so distracting that he had to read the lyric three times before any of the words made sense. Levi was watching him, a little frown between his eyebrows. “It’s shit, isn’t it?”

“No – not at all… Just let me…” Erwin forced himself to concentrate on the words, rather than the small, neat handwriting and the unconventional spelling. “It’s good,” he said, rather surprised to find he meant it. “I like the repetition of ‘drifting’ in the second stanza, and ‘separating like we met, without words, without…’ It’s just going to end there?”

“Yeah. I thought – like when you get to that point, and there’s nothing…”

“Yes,” said Erwin, thinking of Marie. “Yes – I know how that feels.”

“I’m gonna call it w.o.r.d.s.” Levi said, pointing to the title on the paper. “Like – every letter on its own, to show how the meanings get loose –”

“Disassociated,” Erwin nodded. “Yes. Although perhaps just gaps would be better? Less definite? Other than that, and the spelling, there’s not much I can add. I really like it.”

“Yeah, always sucked at spelling,” Levi said, lowering his head.

“But this is a song. It doesn’t matter,” Erwin put in quickly, reacting instinctively to Levi’s immediate drop in confidence, and wishing he’d never mentioned spelling at all. “It’s good, Levi. It seems quite different from what I’ve heard of your music so far. What will the tune be like?”

“Yeah – it is different. We’ve been mixing things up these last few months - experimenting. This will be a lot slower – maybe even bring in some keyboards… I’ve got part of the tune… Like this…” Levi sang the chorus, completely unselfconscious about performing in front of Erwin, his voice projecting to fill the room with absolutely no strain. The hairs rose on the back of Erwin’s neck.

“I… I’d buy it,” he said, when Levi stopped singing. He wanted to be much more lavish in his compliments, but he was afraid he’d already made enough of a fool of himself for one day.

Levi gave him an earnest look that lasted for a fraction of a second. Then he scoffed. “Huh – thanks. But you’re not exactly our target market…”

“No, I’m sure I’m not.”

“But thanks for looking at it.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I’ve decided I’m definitely going to see Kenny,” Levi said, leaning back, his arm along the back of the couch, his t-shirt pulling taut across his chest.

“I see.”

“Yeah. Want this done. I need to get back to my life. I’ll go tomorrow.”

“If you wait a day, I’ll drive you,” Erwin said. “I’m free all weekend.”

Levi looked at him. “Yeah?”

“Yes. It would be better if someone knew where you were, in any case. I’m not sure I like the sound of your uncle.”

“No. I never exactly _liked_ him, either. But you don’t have to worry. I’m not one of your students. I can look after myself.”

“Armin said you were nearly thirty?”

“Shit – don’t remind me! Yeah – December.”

“Christmas Day,” Erwin said, without thinking.

Levi gave him a puzzled smile. “You sure you’re not a fanboy?”

Erwin hesitated. Levi stared at him. “I was joking…”

“I know, but… Levi, I think I should admit something.

“Why – what’s going on?” Levi sat up straighter, looking faintly alarmed.

“Nothing. It’s just… When you came here, you assumed that I hadn’t even heard of you or your band, and I let you think I only knew about it because of Armin and Eren, but I think I ought to tell you the truth. It sounds absurd, I know, but – I’m afraid I’m probably even more of a – a _fanboy_ – than Eren.”

“What?”

“Yes… Armin had a poster of you in his room – all of you, I mean – No Name – but it was you… Something about you... I couldn’t stop looking. Ugh – that sounds so creepy, but it’s the truth. So then I googled you, and I suppose I – somehow I slipped into being a fan…”

“Yeah – but because of the music?”

“Not really. I mean, I think your voice is extraordinary, but, as you’ve guessed, it’s not really my kind of music.”

“Didn’t think so. So, what – you just thought I was - hot?”

“Yeah,” Erwin admitted, feeling about Armin’s age at that moment. “Yeah – I thought you were hot. But it was more than that.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Yes – I thought… your _presence_ – the way you dominated the stage – the quality of your voice…”

“You thought all that shit was hot. You thought about fucking me.”

Erwin nodded, knowing he should feel more ashamed than he did. He met Levi’s steady gaze, and realised that there was no condemnation in it, but something more like a wary curiosity.

“Yeah… I get that a lot. You know it’s all just an act, right?”

“Some of it’s an act,” Erwin said, “and it’s a good one. But there’s a lot in it that’s real. You have real talent, and you know it.”

Levi’s chin lifted, and something of A’s contemptuous demeanour appeared in his posture and his eyes. “Yeah – and that’s what you think about when you jack off to pictures of me – my _talent_.”

Now that it came to the point, Erwin refused to feel embarrassed. “Yes,” he said firmly. “Or, rather, your awareness of how good you are. Your confidence. It’s a big part of what makes you so attractive.”

Levi considered Erwin’s words. “So why did you decide to tell me?”

“It felt dishonest not to let you know.”

“Okay…” Levi ran one hand through his hair, debating something with himself. He leaned forward slightly, looking at Erwin intently. “So - what do you think about?”

“What?”

“When you jack off thinking about me – what do you think about?”

Erwin was a little surprised by Levi’s directness, but he wasn’t about to back down now. “Well… the first time it was just the image of you on the poster – your foot up on the amp – looking down at me, and that line from the song…”

“Kneel, pigs?” Levi sighed.

“Yes.”

“Yeah. That’s the one… If you knew how many times… They hold up signs, at the concerts – _insult me, A!_ You should know, I’m not really into –”

“That was only at first. Then I had this idea of you… I didn’t know your name, of course, so I called you Asher – Ash.”

“ _Ash_?”

“Yes. It was the only name I could think of starting with A that seemed to suit you. But Levi suits you better.”

“Huh. Thanks… So – you and _Ash_ … What happens?”

“I’m walking down a street, and you – Ash, I mean – ask for a light, and –”

“Don’t smoke. Not for years.”

“No, nor do I. It’s just a fantasy.”

“Tch. Bad boy Erwin, huh?”

“Perhaps. Even I can’t be in teacher-mode all the time… Then I light your cigarette, and you hold my wrist to steady the flame, and I say –” For the first time Erwin felt faintly embarrassed, but not enough to stop - “I say, ‘Is there anything else I can do for you?’”

Levi laughed softly, but his eyes, fixed on Erwin’s, betrayed his tension. “ _Seriously_? And? What do I say?”

“You say, _Maybe_. You say, _Why don’t you kneel down…_ ”

Levi swallowed, but there was still an edge of laughter in his voice – “What – in the middle of the street?”

“It’s dark,” Erwin said. “It’s usually raining. It’s in an alleyway.”

“You’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?”

“Constantly,” Erwin admitted.

“With your hand on your dick.”

“Yes… Imagining my mouth on yours.”

Levi’s eyes widened, but he didn’t admit to any shock at Erwin’s bluntness, apparently taking it as a challenge. “So – in this fantasy - are you any good?”

Erwin smiled. “You say, ‘That wasn’t bad...’”

“Yeah – sounds like something I’d say. What then?”

“You walk away.”

“Leaving you on your knees in a filthy alley?”

“Yeah.”

“Sounds like an idiot, this Ash.”

“Why?”

“Wasting that chance... because, if _I_ was him,” Levi said, with a little smile that had Erwin shifting uneasily as his jeans became uncomfortably tight, “I’d wanna see what I was walking away _from_ , and think about maybe returning the favour…”

“Would you?”

“Yeah.”

“You wouldn’t think that perhaps, considering the situation, it might not be a sensible idea –”

“No, I wouldn’t think that… Most likely wouldn’t _think_ at all -”

Erwin felt light-headed. His heart hammered in his chest. He wondered, vaguely, if he ought to make some sort of protest, but forgot why, as Levi slid off the couch and onto his knees in front of him, pushed his unresisting legs apart, and pressed a kiss against the hot bulge of his swelling cock. For a fleeting moment it crossed Erwin’s mind to worry that he might not be able to get properly hard again, given that he’d come in the shower, silently mouthing Levi’s name, less than an hour ago. Then Levi unzipped him, took out his cock, pausing to admire it with a whispered _fuck!_ – and sucked the head of it into his mouth, his tongue exploring the texture the skin there with alternately firm and delicate touches, making Erwin gasp and buck his hips involuntarily, concern about not being able to perform replaced by an urgency so overwhelming that he feared coming far too soon.

Levi seemed to sense Erwin’s rising desperation and pulled back, kissing the tip of his glistening cock almost sweetly, and looking up at him with an expression that was half genuine enquiry and half challenge. “Too much?”

“N – no. But we don’t have to rush.”

Levi nodded, moving to ease Erwin’s jeans and underwear down over his hips and sitting back on his heels to remove them one leg at a time, actually folding them before setting them aside on the carpet. Then he knelt up and took off his own t-shirt in one, graceful motion, revealing that extraordinarily toned torso again. Erwin swallowed hard, his eyes on the line of dark hair that vanished under the waistband of Levi’s dark jeans, and the unmistakable bulge straining the denim below it.

“Can I see?”

Levi’s chin lifted slightly, making him look more like _A_ than ever. He pretended to consider. “Not yet.”

Erwin was too aroused to feel embarrassed by the small, desperate sound he made at that. Levi gave him a long, appraising look. “Hm. Take your top off.”

Erwin hurried to obey, pulling his t-shirt over his head and throwing it aside, leaving him naked under the weight of Levi’s gaze.

“Not bad at all,” Levi said, sliding his hands along Erwin’s spread thighs and up over his hips, leaning in to kiss his way up his chest, flicking his tongue over a nipple to make Erwin gasp, working his way down again, careful to avoid touching Erwin’s cock.

When Levi pulled back and started to lick his way along the insides of Erwin’s thighs, Erwin couldn’t stop his hips lifting off the couch. He took a shuddering breath that became a moan as Levi’s tongue trailed over his balls and up along the shaft of his straining cock.

Erwin lost all pretence of control as Levi started to suck in earnest, his skilful tongue doing things Erwin had fantasized about since first allowing himself to acknowledge his attraction to A’s image on Armin’s poster. And now it was happening – with the object of his obsession kneeling in front of him… That thought alone was almost enough to push him over the edge. But alongside the pure heat of lust, Erwin found himself feeling an unexpected tenderness. He reached to touch Levi’s hair, but was unable to complete the gesture, shocked by the way the idea of doing that felt so much more intimate than the blissful sensation of Levi’s mouth working his cock. His hand hovered inches from Levi’s head. Without pulling back, Levi reached up and took Erwin’s hand, locking their fingers together. The flood that overtook Erwin then was as much an emotional release as a physical one. It caught him off guard, and gave him no time to gasp more than, “Oh – I’m –”

The grip on his hand tightened, but Levi didn’t pull back, swallowing without haste, letting Erwin’s cock slide out of his mouth, turning his head to kiss the inside of Erwin’s thigh and resting his cheek against it, his eyes closed. Erwin stroked Levi’s soft, black hair with his free hand. For a long, peaceful moment they rested like that. Then Levi released Erwin’s hand, and looked up at him, a little, enigmatic smile on his reddened lips. He got to his feet and ran the flat of one hand over the substantial bulge in the front of his own jeans.

“So,” he said, with the arrogant upward tilt of his chin that instantly made him _A_ from No Name, as though Erwin’s living room had transformed itself into a stage – “why don’t you kneel down..?”

Erwin pushed off the sofa and onto his knees, licking his dry lips as Levi unzipped his jeans slowly. The front door banged. “Dad! I’m just picking up some stuff!”

Erwin froze in absolute horror. Levi was quicker to react, tugging his zipper back up at the same time as he leapt across the room and pushed the door shut, leaning against it while Erwin frantically dressed himself.

“Dad?” Armin’s voice called from the other side of the door.

“Um – uh – just a minute! I’m just –” Erwin took Levi’s place at the door, giving Levi mere seconds to retrieve his t-shirt from the floor and pull it on.

Erwin opened the door. “Hi there, Armin!”

Behind him Levi winced at his too-casual tone. Armin wasn’t fooled for a moment. “Dad?” He pushed the door open, and his eyes went instantly to Levi, who had managed to fling himself into an armchair, and was trying to look nonchalant.

“Your t-shirt’s inside out,” Armin said.

Levi looked down at himself. “Oh. Yeah…”

“Dad? You… and _him_?”

“It’s… not what it looks like,” Erwin tried.

Levi shot Armin a pitying look, realizing that the boy had correctly read the situation in one glance and wouldn’t be fobbed off with any excuse either he or Erwin would be able to come up with. “Yeah, it is. It’s exactly how it looks. Sorry, Kid – we didn’t expect anyone home.”

“So… what? You’re a thing? Or this is just…” Armin ran out of words, looking to Erwin for explanations, but it was Levi who gave them.

“First time anything happened, so... But I – Maybe could be a thing? I should… You two should talk, yeah?”

Erwin found his professional voice, if not his natural one. “Yes. Yes, thank you, Levi. Armin… we should –”

The last thing Levi heard as he closed the door quietly on his way out of the room was Armin’s disbelieving, “Oh my god, Dad! What the hell am I supposed to tell Eren?”

 

Erwin hesitated on the landing outside Levi’s room. He checked his watch: nearly midnight. Perhaps Levi was already asleep? But Erwin knew he wouldn’t get any rest until he’d discussed the situation with his guest. He made himself knock.

Levi opened the door. He was still dressed – t-shirt the right way round now.

“Hi.”

“Hi. Can I…?”

“Yeah. Come in.”

Erwin entered the small spare room, noting how little Levi’s presence had changed it. A notebook and pen lay on the bedside table beside a plastic bottle of water, and the sports bag was tucked neatly into a corner, but otherwise the room looked completely unlived in. The single bed was still made, but the slightly rumpled bedding showed where Levi had been lying on it.

“I’m sorry about that,” Erwin said. “That was awkward.”

“Yeah. How’s Armin?”

“Okay. Fine with what happened, actually, but worried about how it might affect Eren if…”

“He doesn’t need to say anything to Eren, does he?”

“No. No – and I’ve asked him not to, for the time being. I drove him back to Eren’s, and I’ve told him to text me before he brings Eren to the house.” Erwin looked at Levi, unsure how to say what was on his mind. “There’s… I suppose there’s no reason for Armin to say anything at all, unless…”

“Yeah.” Levi’s eyes were fixed on Erwin’s. “Yeah – I guess, if it’s nothing, then…”

“You said – you told Armin - that maybe it could be something. Did you mean that – or was that just…?”

Levi looked away. “Uh – yeah – yeah, I did, but if you don’t… I get that it could be awkward. Like I said, I wasn’t thinking; just went with what I wanted. But you’re a teacher, and Armin, and Eren… If Armin doesn’t…”

“Armin knows I’m bi. He isn’t worried about that aspect of it – only about Eren. Levi, I know I we don’t know each other – I know that a big part of why I want you so badly is because of an image of you that’s mostly just a stage act – but if you think there’s any potential at all in - in me and you –”

Levi met Erwin’s intense gaze. “Potential? I want you. I like you – what I’ve seen so far. I’m not much at planning for the future, but… yeah. Yeah, I think there’s potential. Right now, though, I just really want… Can we - carry on where we left off?”

Erwin visibly relaxed, and smiled for the first time since Armin’s unexpected arrival. He raised an eyebrow, his confidence returning with the knowledge that Levi wanted him as much as he wanted Levi. “I’d love to. Where were we, exactly...?”

Levi scoffed, but it sounded amused rather than irritated, and, when he met Erwin’s eyes, his pupils had gone big and dark. “You want me to say it again?”

“Yes.”

“Tch. Okay…” He put one foot up on the edge of the bed, rested his forearm on his thigh and leaned forwards in imitation of the pose from the poster. “Why don’t you come here and kneel down, Erwin?”

Erwin did as he was told, pleasure thrilling through him, unsurprised to find himself growing hard for the third time in as many hours.


	4. Kenny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi goes to see his uncle. Plot resumes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the very, very long delay. This, and my other SnK stories, are all still on-going. Thank you to everyone who has read or left kudos and comments on this fic.

Erwin opened his eyes and turned his head to check the time on the alarm clock beside the bed, groaning quietly when he realized that, once again, he’d managed to wake up only two minutes before the alarm was due to ring. He closed his eyes again for a moment, luxuriating in memories of the way it had felt to act out his fantasy. Levi had played his part perfectly, watching Erwin’s mouth close around his cock with that detached expression from the poster, never letting his composure slip while Erwin did everything in his power to provoke a response, until, at last, Levi’s eyes had closed and his lips parted soundlessly as he came. Levi had even remembered his lines at the end, although there had been more affectionate humour than arrogance in his tone when he’d touched Erwin’s cheek gently and said, “Yeah… not bad. Not bad at all.”

After that, though, things had turned rather awkward. Erwin had got to his feet, clumsy with the stiffness in his knees, and Levi had turned away, zipping himself up and seeming at a loss what to do next. Erwin had wanted to kiss him, but thought Levi probably wouldn’t appreciate it much, given where his mouth had just been. He’d struggled for appropriate words. “That was…”

“Yeah. …Should probably shower…”

“Oh – yes. Yes, of course. You go first.”

“You go first. You have to work in the morning.”

“Wish I didn’t…”

“Yeah.”

Erwin had hesitated by the door, but Levi gave him a look he found hard to read, somewhere between amusement and exasperation. “Go on. You need to sleep. We can talk about it tomorrow night.”

“Yes – all right. Well – good night, Levi.”

“Night, Erwin.”

As he automatically performed his morning routine Erwin wondered how Levi felt about what had happened between them, and tried to examine his own feelings as objectively as he could. What had Levi meant by _we can talk about it_? There were probably a dozen reasons why he’d have reservations about starting something with an older man who had a job where reputation was important, with the added complication of a teenaged son. Not to mention the whole Eren situation. And, although he’d seemed happy enough to act out Erwin’s fantasy scenario, wasn’t it likely that Levi would have had enough of adoring fanboys by now? And then there was the question of Levi’s own baggage – the mysterious blackmailing Uncle Kenny, and the missing former friends, Isabel and Farlan.

Erwin shook his head, trying to be sensible. Realistically, what were the chances of a successful relationship between a staid History teacher fast approaching his forties, and a not-yet-thirty rock star millionaire with a shady past? Erwin was sure that Levi’s sexual experience far outstripped his own; what had seemed to him the height of erotic decadence was probably nothing out of the ordinary for Levi. And there had been the possible hint Erwin had chosen to ignore in pursuit of his own fantasy – “They hold up signs, at the concerts – _insult me, A!_ You should know, I’m not really into –” In his aroused impatience, Erwin had cut Levi off before he could finish that sentence, and, as a result, he had no idea what Levi might or might not be ‘into’. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed to Erwin that the idea of a serious relationship working out between him and Levi was an extremely remote possibility, and that it was probably foolish even to desire such an outcome. And yet, he still went down to the kitchen for breakfast fervently hoping that he hadn’t put Levi off.

 

“You want eggs?” Levi was standing by the hob, adding butter to a pan of scrambled eggs.

“Oh – yes – yes, please. They look good.”

Levi spooned eggs onto toast that he’d somehow managed to get perfectly golden, instead of the always-slightly-too-charred version Erwin usually managed to make himself in his habitual morning rush.

They ate quietly, not quite meeting each other’s eyes.

“Busy day?” Levi asked at last, when the silence had started to grow oppressive.

“Not too bad. Double Year Eleven at the end of the day, but they’re a good group. Armin will be there, though, so…”

Levi looked up. “Ah. Is that gonna be awkward?”

“Probably. But we’ll get through it.”

“Yeah. Look – Erwin – if this will cause too much trouble –”

“No! I mean, no – I don’t want to give up on this before it starts. Of course Armin has to be my priority, but I really think he’s okay with the idea of it, as long as it doesn’t affect his relationship with Eren. And I’d like to keep seeing you.”

Levi gave Erwin a long, serious look, then nodded abruptly, and got to his feet, clearing away the plates, not looking back at Erwin again as he replied, “Yeah. Yeah – I’d - that would be good.”

Levi didn’t say anything else, apparently focussing on the washing up with a fierce concentration. Erwin watched him for a moment and then went upstairs to clean his teeth. When he came out of the bathroom Levi was waiting outside, seeming impatient to get in.

“Sorry,” Erwin said – “I don’t suppose you’re used to houses with only one bathroom.”

Levi shook his head. “Most of the rooms I grew up in, we shared a bathroom with two or three other families.”

“Oh – yes, of course. I didn’t mean –”

Levi gave him an indecipherable look before shutting the door.

Erwin went downstairs to collect his books, feeling foolish. Hadn’t he given enough assemblies on themes of prejudice and assumptions not to be blinded by Levi’s present rock star status - especially after what Levi had told him about Kenny and his life before the band became famous? He wondered whether he ought to apologize – or would that only make things more awkward? He hesitated in the corridor, finally settling for a cheerful, “Well – see you later, Levi!” which sounded strained even to his own ears.

“Hold on!” Levi called from the upstairs landing.

“What’s wrong?” Erwin asked, faintly alarmed, as Levi ran rapidly down the stairs and stopped in front of him.

“Nothing. Just wanted –” Levi reached up and pulled Erwin down into a swift, soft, mint-flavoured kiss. Erwin stared at him, surprised by the warmth of his emotional response.

“Didn’t want our first kiss to taste of scrambled eggs,” Levi explained.

Lost for words, Erwin put down his briefcase and the pile of exercise books he was carrying, and kissed Levi properly.

“Wanted to do that last night,” Levi said, when they finally drew apart.

“Mmm, me too. But –”

“Yeah… I… wouldn’t’ve minded, though,” Levi admitted.

“Neither would I,” Erwin confessed, a thrill of lust running through him again. Levi looked up at him, desire sparking in his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Yes.”

They kissed again, more urgently, until Erwin pulled back unwillingly. “I’m afraid I really do have to go.”

“I know.” Levi reached to brush Erwin’s hair back into place. “That’s better. I’ll mess it up again later.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Yeah. And other things…”

“Can’t wait!”

“Mm, me neither. Get going before I drag you back in here.”

“That’s a much more appealing prospect than double Year Eleven.”

“Go!”

Erwin left the house regretfully, turning at the end of the path to wave at Levi, who was standing in the doorway, watching him. Levi made the exasperated/amused face Erwin already took pleasure in trying to provoke, and gave a small, half embarrassed wave in return, before closing the door.

 

“Hey, Armin – what’s going on with your dad?”

Armin turned to find Jean Kirstein standing behind him, looking genuinely bemused.

“Why?”

“I dunno – he just seemed, like, unnaturally chill all lesson. Like – he’s normally strict about homework, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Armin agreed.

“But today when I told him I’d forgotten mine, he was just, like, ‘okay, Jean – make sure you bring it in on Monday.’ I mean, I’ve already had three detentions from him this year, so I never thought he’d just let me off like that…”

Armin looked away. “Must be in a good mood. Don’t complain about it!”

“I’m not complaining. It’s not like him, that’s all. You think he’s feeling okay?”

Armin shrugged, trying to put images of his dad and Levi Ackerman out of his mind. “I’m sure he’s fine. I have to meet Eren – we’re meant to be training –”

Jean was suddenly all attention. “Oh. That’s… Is Mikasa going with you?”

“No. I think she said she was going to the library, with Sasha and Krista.”

“Right. Right. Well… guess I’d better head that way, too. Don’t want to risk being late with History again!”

Armin watched Jean rush off in the direction of the library, amused by his transparency when it came to his famous crush on Mikasa, but bothered by what he’d said about the lesson. It was true – his dad had seemed distracted at times, and once Armin had noticed him grinning to himself as he turned to write something on the board. The rational side of his mind told him that it was good that his dad had finally shown some kind of real interest in someone since the divorce. He knew that his mum was happy with Nile, and he’d never harboured any romantic illusions that his parents might one day get back together – but of all the people in the world to fall for, why had his dad gone and picked the one Eren seemed to believe was the love of his life? Armin could only imagine, with a sick sense of dread, what would happen if anyone ever found out that Mr. Smith, head of History, was… was _involved_ with A from No Name. And if Eren discovered the truth before Armin’s cherished plan could come to fruition – that would be disastrous in ways Armin couldn’t bear to think about. But was it likely that someone like Levi Ackerman would be interested in Erwin Smith for long? Surely a star like Levi would be easily bored, and, much as he loved his father, Armin knew that his habits and lifestyle were far from thrilling. Erwin worked, went to the gym, ran, did the shopping and looked after the house, slept, worked some more. History was his passion – his job, and his hobby. Objectively, Armin supposed his dad was quite good looking for his age, but, beyond that, what could he and Levi possibly have to interest each other? The thought of Levi losing himself in a book about the French Revolution or the Wars of the Roses, as Erwin did whenever he had a free evening, seemed so weird that Armin almost laughed aloud.

“What’s so funny?”

Armin looked up, startled by Eren’s approach. “Sorry – miles away. Just laughing at Jean – running off to the library the second I told him Mikasa went there.”

Eren frowned. “Huh. Mikasa’s way too good for him. He’s such a prick!”

“Yeah, sometimes. But he’s okay, really. If he’d stop showing off…”

“He can’t. He’s always been that way. Remember, in Year Seven, when he forgot his packed lunch, and his mum brought it in, and he was such an asshole to her, just because those Year Nines were taking the piss?”

“Yeah – he was just embarrassed though. His mum was a bit… full-on. Anyway – what are we doing today? You want to hit the gym, or run?”

“Gym first,” Eren said, instantly cheerful again. “I’m upping my biceps reps. I reckon I’ve gained half a centimetre already. Next time Levi sees me, I’m gonna be ripped, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Armin echoed, successfully feigning enthusiasm. “You’ll be a god.”

“Yeah – like Levi… You, too though - you’ve already gained some core strength. I noticed yesterday when you were doing those crunches.”

“You think so?” For some reason it was much harder to fake a casual tone than an enthusiastic one and Armin had to turn away to hide a blush when Eren slapped him on the back, and exclaimed, “Yeah – definitely! You’re actually a lot fitter than I thought you’d be.”

“Probably the surfing,” Armin said. “Nile surfs, and he’s teaching his kids, and – me, too, so…”

“You surf? Seriously? What else don’t I know about you?”

“Nothing really -” _Only that I’m trying to keep you away from Levi Ackerman because he’s apparently having some kind of a thing with my dad, and all I want out of life at the moment is for you to look at me like you look at him._ Armin grinned, suddenly full of energy that needed release, “ - Only my secret career as a criminal mastermind!” He ran down the corridor towards the gym, calling back over his shoulder, “Hurry up, Eren – what are you waiting for?”

 

Erwin felt oddly nervous as he approached home, hoping that Levi wouldn’t have changed his mind. The tingling, heart-racing anticipation he felt as he unlocked the front door was more intense than anything he could remember since the earliest days of his teenaged longing for Marie before she’d finally agreed to a date.

He opened the door. The house was silent. “Hi!” he called out awkwardly, oddly self-conscious. “Levi?”

Something clattered in the kitchen.

Erwin put down his briefcase in the hallway, and opened the kitchen door to find Levi, ashen-faced and scowling, muttering to himself while rifling through the cutlery drawer.

“What are you –?”

“Why are all your knives so fucking shit?”

Taken aback by Levi’s apparent fury, Erwin couldn’t help a touch of irony when he replied, “Oh, I’m sorry – I’m not much of a chef. If they aren’t up to your exacting standards I could always –”

“Not for _cooking_.”

The ice in Levi’s voice shocked Erwin into silence.

Levi looked up then, saw Erwin’s stricken expression, and blinked, the anger draining from his face. “Fuck. Shit. Sorry.”

Erwin took a step towards Levi. “Levi, what on Earth is it? What’s happened?”

“That bastard, Kenny. He’s not taking my calls or replying to texts. I can’t – I never thought even a shit-stain like him would – It’s not – not how-.”

“Levi…”

Levi reached blindly for his phone, on the counter above the open drawer, and handed it to Erwin.

Erwin looked down at a screenshot of a news site’s front page – a black and white police mug-shot of a tired-looking young woman with long dark hair next to a picture of Levi in his _No Name_ suit and bandages under a headline reading: _A’s Secret Sex-worker Shame?_

At first Erwin assumed that the article must have been implying that Levi had paid the woman for sex, but a second look at the photograph banished that idea immediately – the photo was too old, and resemblance between the woman in the picture and Levi was too striking. “This is… Is this your mother?”

“Yeah.”

“So they’re suggesting that she…” Erwin couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. “You should sue. You must be able to afford the best lawyers. This is beyond –”

Levi’s expression hardened. “What the hell would I need a lawyer for?” He made a choked, derisive sound. “Breaking news: paps are scum.”

“But if they libel –”

Levi only shot Erwin a disbelieving look. “There’s no libel.” He cocked his head on one side, with a bitter little smile. “Mom was a hooker.” The unnatural gesture and the affected American accent told Erwin how much the truth hurt Levi; how much he subconsciously wanted to distance himself from it. Erwin wanted to say something, but had no idea what. Levi read the pity in his eyes and turned away impatiently. “I’ll have to contact Mike and Hange. If the paps have mum’s name, it won’t take much digging for them to find mine. But before that – I need to see Kenny. You said you’d drive me.”

Erwin hesitated. “Levi…”

Levi turned to face him. “Yeah – look, I get it. This was fun. I’ll get a cab.”

“No, I’ll drive you. But what are you planning?”

“You don’t need to worry about that. Just drop me off at the hotel.”

“When I came in, you looked as though you were considering murder.”

Levi frowned, but most of his anger seemed to have dissipated. “Yeah. But… I dunno. Something’s off. Thought I knew Kenny. He’s always been a shitty bastard, but – his own sister? Thought – the one thing off limits was family. Maybe he figured she’s dead, so… but - dunno.”

Erwin stepped forward and put a hand on Levi’s arm. Levi looked at it. Erwin offered something between a pat and a squeeze, awkward and too tentative, and withdrew his hand. Levi stared at him for a moment, and then looked away, almost smiling. “So - you’re okay to drive me?”

Erwin repressed a relieved sigh. “Yes. We can go as soon as you like. But – please - leave the knives in the drawer.”

Levi nodded. “Okay. Like I said, your knives are shit. Couldn’t cut butter, let alone… I just want answers.”

“I won’t drop you at the hotel, though,” Erwin said. “I’m coming in with you.”

“Kenny most likely won’t even be there.”

“But if he is, I’d like to come in with you.”

Levi smile was only a little wry. “As backup?”

“Safety in numbers, perhaps?” Erwin said. “I’m not claiming I’d be any use in a fight.”

“Huh. Bet you could hold your own if it came to that,” Levi replied. “But I’ll be fine. Best if I see him alone.”

Erwin was about to protest, when Levi added, “You could wait outside though. If you wanted. You know, just in case.”

 

The hotel turned out to be a faded Victorian house on the outskirts of a little village just off the M25. Its two stars were displayed on a peeling wooden signboard to the left of one of the greenish stone lions that topped the brick columns flanking the entrance to the car park. Erwin turned off the wipers and the engine and looked at Levi. “Here we are.”

“Yeah. Shitty place, shitty weather.”

“Should I come in with you?”

“Better if you wait here.”

“I need the toilet, and I could do with a coffee or something. I’ll wait in the bar.”

“Okay.”

The reception was empty. Levi pressed the brass bell on the desk, and after a long wait, a young woman appeared. “Hello. Welcome. How can I help you?” she intoned, without smiling.

“I’m here to see Kenny Ackerman,” Levi said.

The girl’s expression grew sourer. “I’ll phone up.” She reached for the phone on the desk, looking at Levi suspiciously. “He might not be in. He goes out a lot.” She waited through several rings and replaced the receiver. “No, he’s not in. Want to leave a message?”

“I’ll put a message under his door. Which room is it?” Levi asked. For a moment the girl hesitated, then shrugged. “Room twelve. Second floor.” She gestured to the steep staircase leading up from the reception area. Levi looked at Erwin. “I’ll see you in a minute.”

Erwin asked for directions to the bar and the girl pointed at a door with frosted glass panels. “Lounge is through there.” She gave Erwin a proper once-over, and her expression brightened a little. “What do you want? I’ll bring it through for you.”

“Coffee, please. Black, two sugars.”

“Won’t be a mo.”

Erwin found the toilets and then went back to the lounge and took a seat in a faded armchair, facing the door to the hallway. The girl from reception brought him his coffee, and smiled as she set it down. She lingered for a moment, but when he only said thank you with distant politeness she went away again. Erwin was reaching for yesterday’s copy of _The Guardian_ on the coffee table, when a tall, haggard-looking man in a worn raincoat pushed open the door and glanced over at Erwin. His long, lined face and dark beard threw Erwin for a moment, but as soon as he met the stranger’s narrow-eyed, wary gaze the resemblance to Levi became apparent.

Kenny saw recognition in Erwin’s eyes, and scowled. “Who the ’ell ’re you?”

“I’m Erwin. You must be Kenny.”

“What if I am?”

“I know Levi.”

“Ah.” Kenny pushed back the chair opposite Erwin with his foot, and slouched back in it, knees spread. He ran one hand through his unkempt hair in a gesture Erwin already recognized as one of Levi’s. “The runt sent you? Fame and fortune must be makin’ ’im soft. Not like Levi to send someone else to do his dirty work.”

“I didn’t.” Levi’s voice was low and clear, and full of barely suppressed violence. Erwin almost flinched, but Kenny turned unhurriedly to face his nephew. “Wondered when you’d show. Come to kill me, ’ave ya?”

Kenny reached into his pocket. Erwin tensed, but Kenny only pulled out a packet of cigarettes, and squinted up at Levi. “Got a light, kid?”

“I gave up.”

“Well good for you. There’s a box of matches on the mantelpiece.”

To Erwin’s surprise Levi visibly relaxed. Erwin leaned back in his chair, and watched Levi as he crossed the room to fetch the box of matches and bent down to light Kenny’s cigarette, the gesture almost tender.

“So – what?” Levi asked, when Kenny had taken a puff or two – “It wasn’t you?”

“You really askin’ me that?”

Levi shook his head.

“But you still came all this way.”

Levi looked at him. “I thought… You might’ve changed…They got that photo somehow.”

“Too old to change, kid. My fault, though. ’Ad a few too many, an’ that journo must’ve took the picture out my wallet. Don’t worry – I put it right. He won’t be selling any more stories about us.”

Levi’s eyes widened, and Kenny gave a creaky laugh. “Nah – I just scared him off. Jeez, kid – your face!”

“Yeah,” Levi said, half smiling, “well.”

Kenny leaned back in his chair. “So – cat’s out of the bag.”

“Yeah.”

“What yer gonna do?”

Levi walked away from him and looked out of the grimy bay window, watching the rain sweeping across the grey tarmac of the car park. “Should you be smoking in here?”

“No, but they don’t mind when there ain’t any other guests in. What yer gonna do now, kid?”

“Press conference I expect. Mike makes those decisions, but he’ll most likely say it’s best to come clean. They’ll lap it up – tragic past, all that. Just wish – She would’ve hated…”

“Yeah.” Kenny sighed.

“You had that photo – all these years?” Levi asked.

“Yeah. Only one I had of ’er – mug shot I took off a copper who came round askin’ questions after Lobov disappeared. I wasn’t… I wish I never left ’er on ’er own. I wanted ’er to get rid of you, when she got ’erself knocked up. We fell out over that. I weren’t much of a brother.”

“I always wondered,” Levi said – “Lobov disappearing like that…”

Kenny tapped his nose. “What y’ don’t know...”

“All right, Kenny.” Levi hesitated. “Guess – if you’re a bit short…”

“Says _you_!” Kenny laughed at his own joke, coughed, laughed again. “ _Short!_ ”

Levi went over to the bar, took a chequebook out of his jacket pocket, wrote out a cheque, and handed it to Kenny.

Kenny looked at it. Erwin, watching the exchange, saw Kenny’s eyes widen fractionally when he read the amount, but nothing was said, and Kenny slipped the cheque into his pocket without a word of thanks. Levi didn’t seem to expect any. He crossed back to the window, looking out at the rain again. After a while, he glanced across at Erwin. “Finished your coffee?”

“Oh – yes.”

“Good. Then let’s get going.”

Erwin got to his feet. Levi was almost at the door when Kenny said, “Oi – kid.”

Levi turned to look back at him. “What?”

“Carter didn’t die. Ran into him a few years back. He’s inside now. Don’t walk quite right but – didn’t die.”

Levi nodded. “I see.”

 

Erwin followed Levi back to the car. He waited until he had reached the main road before asking, “Tell me it’s not my business if you like, but – Carter?”

“Guy I beat up. The one who came after me, looking for Kenny. I always thought – worried - that I might’ve killed him.”

“It would have been self-defence,” Erwin pointed out.

“Yeah, but…”

“Yes. So Kenny told you that by way of thanks?”

Levi shifted uncomfortably. “You don’t – Me and Kenny - we don’t say shit like that, so…”

“Yes, I understand. Is there anywhere else you need to go, in the light of all this, or shall we go home now?”

Levi looked at him. “Your home?”

“Yes. Levi, you’re very welcome to stay for as long as you need to.”

Levi ran his hand through his hair, and nodded. “Yeah – thanks. I’d – Yeah, that would be good.”

 

They travelled in silence for a while, both of them absorbed by their own thoughts. Eventually Levi stirred, ran his hand through his hair again, and glanced at Erwin. “Can I – Can we have the radio or something?”

“Yes, of course. Go ahead.”

Levi reached for the knob, but Erwin suddenly seemed to remember something, and put out his hand abruptly. “Oh – I think I might have been – It’s probably on CD. I’ll change it –”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “What? Some classical stuff you think I won’t like?”

“No – it’s nothing – I –”

Realization dawned. “It’s us? _No Name_?”

Erwin actually flushed. Levi ejected the CD and saw the band’s silver crown and wings logo on the matt black surface. He turned it over, watching the light arc in rainbows over the shiny side. “Still feels weird,” he said, “thinking that people have our shit in their houses – cars…”

“You should be proud,” Erwin told him. “You make a lot of people happy.”

“Huh. Thanks. But let’s stick with the radio, okay?”

“Yes.”

Levi turned on the radio. The car was instantly flooded with the sound of Hange’s throbbing guitar, Mike’s steady drums, Levi’s powerful vocals. Erwin and Levi stared at each other. Erwin laughed aloud, turning back to focus on the road. Levi only shook his head, smiling.

 

When they got in Erwin texted Armin to find out what his weekend plans were, while Levi went up to his room to call Mike and Hange and warn them about the impending media frenzy. He was gone for almost an hour. Erwin tried to distract himself by marking Year Eleven homework, irritated that Jean Kirstein’s was missing again, until he remembered that he’d given him an extension until Monday. He couldn't help smiling to himself when he thought about the reason for his lenience, and although he tried to focus on the students’ work, he was constantly listening for Levi’s light tread on the stairs.

When Levi finally appeared, Erwin looked up from his marking instantly. “Was that okay?”

“Yeah… They already knew – about my past, I mean. Bits and pieces anyway. Not about Mum, not really, but they weren’t all that surprised. Guess I might’ve… Things I said before. I have to go back to London. Mike’s organising a press conference for tomorrow morning. I’ll be pushed to make the last train - I’ve called a cab. Don’t worry, I used a false name. I wish – but I have to go tonight.”

Erwin’s disappointment was a cold blow to his stomach, followed through with guilt. Levi had more important things on his mind than –

“Fuck. This sucks, “ Levi sighed. “I wanted –”

“Come back,” Erwin said urgently, getting to his feet. “After the press conference, come back here. I meant it, Levi – you’re welcome to stay as long as you like. More than welcome.”

Levi’s smile was brittle. “You’d never get rid of me… But it’s too risky. Once the story’s out, they’ll be all over me. You don’t know… They’ll do anything for a lead. I can’t bring you and Armin into all that. Or Mikasa and Eren. It’s better if I stay in London for a while, until it blows over.”

Erwin wanted to protest, but he had no idea what it must be like to live Levi’s life, and he had to think about Armin. He tried to keep his tone casual when he asked, “But – you’ll come back when you can?”

Levi nodded sharply. “The minute I can.”

Erwin couldn’t look away from Levi’s face. “I’ll drive you to the station.”

“I called a cab. You’ve driven me about enough today.”

“Oh – yes, yes you said you’d called a… But you haven’t even eaten anything – you should –”

“I’m not hungry. I’ll get a drink on the train, or…”

“Have you packed?”

Levi jerked his chin in the direction of the hallway, where he’d left his bag ready. “Yeah – not like I brought a lot with me.”

“Is there anything you need – for the journey or – or anything?”

“No, it’s fine – I’m fine. But I want – Can I kiss you?”

“Please,” Erwin replied, not caring how desperate he sounded, “Le-”

He was interrupted by the doorbell.

Levi flung himself into Erwin’s arms and kissed him hard and inaccurately, on the side of his mouth. Erwin managed one swift answering peck before Levi pulled away regretfully. “I have to go. I’ll call you.”

“You don’t have my number, do you?”

“Shit, no. Uh – Eren’s mum has mine. I’ll call her – ask her to pass it on to you.”

“But won’t that –”

“I’ll make something up. It’ll be okay.”

Erwin followed Levi into the hallway.

“You shouldn’t come to the door. If anything gets out, I don’t want the driver remembering your face and putting things together.”

“Oh – okay.” Erwin pulled Levi into a last, deep kiss, his hands on the sides of Levi’s up-turned face. “Good luck,” he said, letting go reluctantly. “With the press, I mean.”

“Yeah – thanks. And for – everything else.” Levi did his best to smile. He turned to open the door, and was gone.

Erwin stood alone in his hallway, listening to the sound of the taxi’s engine fading as it carried Levi away.


End file.
